Placing Flowers at the April 16th Memorial

Not exactly a national secret is my love for my alma mater, Virginia Tech. If you look back through my sparsely-populated blog, you’ll see that the majority of my posts are related to VT is some way. Some were easier to write than others. Nonetheless, I find myself back in this place again, back on this date – now a full 2 years removed from April 16, 2007. And again, I find myself immersed in reflection.

Last year, I wrote about the need to push forward, to make our world better, to make ourselves better "for the 32." There is still much to do on both fronts (for myself, at least!), but I feel confident that I’m in a better place than I was 1 year ago today. Maybe I’m maturing with age, but I’d like to think that at least a small part of my personal growth is due to the perspective that I’ve gained since the tragedy on April 16th, 2007.

That one word. Perspective. That single attribute has helped me quite a bit. My wife and I have a common phrase that we use now. I think she came up with it, but I like to borrow it as well. Whenever anything happens in our day that is disruptive or creates an annoyance, our refrain is equal parts simple and powerful:

If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, then my life is pretty blessed

Cheesy? Oh you bet. True? Absolutely.

While the sun may not shine as much as I’d like it to. While my work projects may not be prioritized as highly as I’d like. While my morning commute may take longer than necessary – I am, in fact, still alive. I don’t have the physical and emotional scars of those survivors on campus that day. I don’t wake every morning to the pain of a brother or sister, father or mother – or worse yet, a son or daughter whose smile I’ll never see again or whose laugh I’ll never hear again. I don’t have it all, but I have it pretty good. In perspective.

Speaking of my wife, it would be careless of me to reflect on how this experience has shaped my last year without mentioning our wedding on campus this past July. My wonderful wife and I were married only a few hundred yards from Norris Hall, the site of the tragic shootings. The chapel is also nearly the same distance from the April 16th memorial on the campus drillfield. We knew that we wanted to honor those that we lost on April 16th, but we also didn’t want to dampen the mood on one of the happiest days of our lives.

My wife lived in Blacksburg for many years and, although not an alum, I dare anyone to question her Hokie-ness! Still, I could have totally understood if she had hesitation. But in an act of trust and kindness that exemplifies why I love her so, she was not only supportive with a tribute, but excited as well.

So after the chapel ceremony, we lead all of our guests across the drillfield and to the memorial, where we placed flowers on the central plaque and all 32 memorial stones. No formal words were said. There was no need for such. I think the message was better spoken in actions than words. Around here, we never forget. We go about living our lives, but we never forget.

The next day, Stephanie and I returned to the memorial – sans our guests – and placed some remaining flowers, her bouquet and my boutonniere around the area. We asked God to be with us in our marriage, and to help us keep the memory of those 32 victims in our hearts along the way.

I can’t even begin to describe how much those brief moments of remembrance meant to me and how grateful I am to have a wife that is supportive, kind…and a Hokie herself!

So now, another year of reflection begins. Another journey of self-realization and self-improvement (hopefully, right?). What to do with myself this year? How will I honor the memory of those Hokies? Those bearers of our creed – Ut Protism. That I may serve.

I dunno, sounds like a good place to start…

As far as the potential homebuyer is concerned, this credit is a definite improvement over the 2008 version, which was essentially a interest-free loan. The 2009 homebuyer credit does not require repayment and is refundable if your tax liability is lower than the amount for which you qualify. Not too bad, I say!

So I was very excited when I got the green light to write my first work article outlining the first-time homebuyer tax credit. For certain, the article doesn’t contain any earth-shattering revelations. Most of the details are readily available from various sources, but my hope is that first time homebuyers will find it to be a concise representation of the benefits. And obviously I hope this will help folks make that exciting move to buy their first home!

If you are interested in reading the full article, you can find it here.

In the literal sense, yesterday was not a beautiful day here in Charlotte and I don’t think the sun really made an appearance all day. However, none of that really mattered.  In a figurative sense, the rays were shining all around.

In just 43 years, this great country went from segregation to the election of an African-American to the highest office in the land.  This amazing accomplishment in no way excuses the prejudices that still abound in this country, but it goes a long way toward that sweet, peaceful dream that helped to spark the change that lead us to this place in history.  I imagine Dr. King smiling down at this great land from an even better place, humbled by the progress that his eloquent words helped bring about several decades ago.

Proud, as well, to hear President-elect Obama say last night that the election represented merely the chance to bring about change.  Now the work really begins.  There isn’t a chance that it’ll be easy.  It never is – nor should it be.  Only 43 other men have ever held the office that Barak Obama will assume in January.  No doubt, he’ll stand out in the annuals of history simply due to the color of his skin.  But that isn’t enough.  Not for him. Not for the proud African-American community. And not enough for “white folks” like myself who are inspired by love of God, country and the hope of a perfect union.

For now, every American – no matter race, religion, gender or party affiliation – should be proud of the message that we’ve sent to ourselves, to the next generation of Americans, and to the world.  This “shining city on a hill” that Ronald Reagan spoke of with such passion still burns brightly as a beacon of hope.  And now it burns blind to color.

So today, as we all step back and survey the awesome history that we’ve made, I’m reminded of another line from Tom Petty’s Runnin’ Down A Dream:

“Theres something good waitin down this road”

As Obama said, winning the election is just a chance to make a difference, now it is up to us get going down this road and help lead the way to reclaiming the greatness of these United States of America.

Me and Steph at our wedding reception

A wild title for a wild night. What else can I say?! It was an eclectic blend of personalities that had the possibility to either make the night or completely derail it. We went ahead and chose the former, and had a grand ol’ time in Hokieland!

Mix in a couple of live performances from my extremely talented new family. Add a boat load of rum-guzzling capt’ns. Thrown in a dash of straight-up pimp cousin. Top it off with the Hoban family matriarch, aunts and my reverend uncle (who married us). Even then, we are only scratching the surface. There were even a few incidents involving myself, a microphone, some down-home country music, good friends…and a good bit of liquid courage.

The result was a perfect ending to wedding day. We even managed, due to a wonderful suggestion from Steph, to bookend the night with Van Morrison. That still makes me smile when I think about it.

Don’t get me wrong. Our marriage has and will always be the most important part of this story. Not the wedding. Not the reception. Not even the amazing trip to Cozumel (yes, more on that later). Even so, I wanted so badly for the reception to be a great time. Not just for me and Steph, but for everyone. And I don’t mind saying that I think we succeeded.

And, honestly, what else would you expect from a gathering of rockstars, pirates, pimps and saints?

Me and Steph getting married

oh that’s right. July 26th, 2008. A date which will live in…famy (ok, i’m pretty certain that isn’t a word). Things went extremely smooth, especially considering how chaotic things were at the rehearsal. I think God may have felt sorry for us when he saw us flopping about like fish while rehearsing and decided that he’d run the main event. Fine with me, i mean that is the way it’s supposed to be anyhow, yeah?

Clearly i already think Stephanie is very beautiful, but she really blew me away at the wedding. I don’t think my heart has ever beaten faster.

My best friend (and best man) Matt and his wife had told us how the ceremony would seem like a blur b/c things are so surreal. Boy were they right. I don’t really remember much. I remember saying our vows, I remember Steph almost losing her balance on the alter while lighting the unity candles only to be trumped by my spilling hot wax on my hand seconds later. Or honestly, i’m not even sure which of those happened first.

I do remember being allowed to kiss my wife. Very nice. I like!

But that was just the start of the fun, things “got right” at the reception. There will be more on that later.

And what of a proud alum?  It was a whirlwind of emotion.  Raw shock. Overwhelming Pain. Unashamed Anger.  Those 3 emotions swirled about in unison.  But something else happened in that day and the days that followed.  Another powerful emotion began to rise up as the day moved to night on that April 16th.  Glued to the TV, unable to stomach what I was watching but equally unable to turn away, I started to see something.  Something in the young students being interviewed in front of national, no world-wide, audiences.  At first I didn’t recognize it. It was not foreign to me. I had been around it, consumed by it, for years.  But the shock, pain and anger were blurring my vision. What is that?

Hokie Spirit.

This time, the rush of emotion and tears had a different feel.  Yes, there was still the persistence of shock, pain and anger.  But now, there was relief. Now there was pride.  And now there was a sense of responsibility.

I was relieved to see these young students – thrust unwantingly into a world-wide headline – handling themselves like seasoned adults.  I was proud because I was starting to realize that the world would see what I have always seen:  Just how amazingly special the Hokie Spirit really is.

And perhaps more importantly, I felt a sense of responsibility that, as Hokies, we must pick up the pieces and make things better.  Not just “the same”, but better.  Not just in Blacksburg, but around the world.  Not just on campuses, but in Sudan.  Not just about violence, but also about hunger. Not just the world, but our own selves.

We must do these things for the 32.  We may not have ask for this responsibility, but it has been endowed to us by a God much too awesome for me to ever fully understand.   I’ve tried to live up to this responsibility in my own life over the past year.  I’ve failed, in some measure I’m sure.  But I hope that I will continue to work at it.  I hope that, whenever things seem rough, I’ll think of The 32.  I hope that, whenever it seems pointless to try and improve a world that seems beyond repair, I’ll think of The 32.  I hope that I’ll always remember the emotions that I felt on April 16th, 2007.  I hope that I’ll always remember The 32.

The topic is fascinating and is actually, in my opinion, a good way to get a glimpse of who a person is.  The music that you appreciate oftens speaks to the kind of person you are.  But that is too deep a topic for this post.  The real purpose here was to cement my top 5 bands of all time.  I base this list not only my appreciation for the music, but I also try and weight the group’s influence on music, society, etc.

So, enough rambling.  My Top 5 Group (2 or more artists) of All Time:

1. The Beatles – the cheesy, obvious choice. Still, hard to argue

2. The Rolling Stones – just starting to really dig into their music.  Like The Beatles, this one is hard to argue.

3. U2 – I may be straying a bit from the norm here, but they are my personal favorite and quite an influential group on everything from punk rock to gospel music.

4. Led Zepplin – perhaps not the longest of careers, but their music is still as popular now as it ever was – and that has to say something.

5. The Eagles – the top 4 for me is relatively easy.  this pick was a bit more difficult.  among the honorable mentions that could easily sneak into this spot: The Who, Queen, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Alabama and The Clash.  I have a feeling that if I was more familiar with The Who and Queen (regrettably I am not), they would supplant The Eagles.

Well, this little revelation made me think…who would I name to this list. So, I came up with a top ten. The criteria was pretty simple for me. No family mentions. I admire the heck out of my father – probably more so than any of the people on my lists…but it is kinda corny and not nearly as debatable. So here is my top ten most admired men. I’ve also taken the liberty to include the USA Today/Gallup Poll results for comparison sakes. Here we go…

Most Admired Man:

USA Today/Gallup Poll

1. President George W. Bush – 10%

2. President Bill Clinton – 8%

3. Al Gore – 6%

4. Barack Obama – 5%

5. Reverend Billy Graham – 3%

6. Nelson Mandela – 3%

7. President George H.W. Bush – 2%

8 (tie). Bill Gates – 2%

8 (tie). Pope Benedict XVI – 2%

8 (tie). President Jimmy Carter – 2%

Friend/Relative – 4%, Other – 26%, None/No Opinion – 12%

My 2 cents:

1. Reverend Billy Graham – a man of truly strong faith and dedication to his beliefs (and a fellow Charlottean!)

2. Nelson Mandela – a man that stood tall against injustice and never lost hope for his dreams

3. Bill Gates – say what you will about Microsoft, but the man is a genius and, together with his wife Melinda, is a great philanthropist

4. Bono – a tireless soldier in the fight against AIDS and poverty.  Nevermind being the lead man in the 2nd greatest band of all time (but that is another list for another day, ain’t it?)

5. Bush 41 – you have to admire a man that chooses to jump out of a plane for fun in his 80′s.  Oh and also for all of the work he and Clinton have done in the wake of two horrible natural disasters.

6. John McCain – tough as nails, this one.  Survived being a POW and is still mixing it up in the presidential race.

7. Bill Clinton – a polarizing figure, politically, it is hard to deny his charitable works and uncanny charisma.

8. Tiger Woods – best golfer in the world? check.  course designer? check.  dad? check.  a charitable heart as big as his drives? check.

9. Mike Huckabee – another strong man of faith who isn’t afraid to show it…but who also build his policies not solely on his religious beliefs.

10. Barack Obama – a refreshing, optimistic voice in a rather cynical time.

Oh so close…Colin Powell, Tony Blair, Charles Steger (Virginia Tech President)

So there you have it, my list of most admired men.  What’s your list look like?

That is probably the best way to look at the humbling taking-apart of my beloved Hokies this past Saturday night.  It should have been apparent to most anyone who watched this game that LSU was simply the better team.  In pretty much every aspect of the game, they soundly defeated a team that – while embarrassed – is still a fine football team.

But, football in the south is a different brand of football.  And by south, I mean a lot closer to the equator than dear old Blacksburg.  No, I’m referring to the deep south.  Where even lineman have mind-blowing 40 times.  We received a very tidy, clear lesson in what raw speed, sound coaching, and innate talent can yield on a football field.

After allowing the slim hope of victory leave my mind, I was able to set back and marvel at this truly awesome display.  Sure, I wish it hadn’t been my alma mater on the receiving end – just as I did several years ago when we played Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart and the soon-t0-be national champion USC Trojans (although we did give them a very tough game).

Could it be that we’ve once again been victimized by the impending national champions?  The season is still early, but you can count me as a believer.  If the those same Bayou Bengal Tigers show up for their remaining games, we’ll be watching them hoist the crystal football in New Orleans in a little less than 4 months.

Meanwhile, we’ll circle the wagons and go after another ACC title behind the arms and legs of Tyrod Taylor – which is exciting in its own right.

We are the Hokies.

Anyway, two events on Sunday reminded me of one of the Gipper’s more memorable ideals. That ideal, of course, was his view of America as a shining city upon a hill. To be fair, the idea was not a Reagan original. Former Mass. Governor John Winthrop was the first to refer to America in such a way in 1630. However, it was Ronnie’s vision that I’ll always remember. Therefore, when our pastor’s Sunday morning sermon cited Matthew 5:14 (“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.”), I immediately thought of Reagan’s use of the phrase. Somewhat later in the day, I sat down and read a recap of the Republican presidential debate in Iowa. In reading about, and even listening to, some of the candidates’ responses, I also thought back to the Democratic CNN/YouTube debate.

Why did this moment remind me of Reagan and his city set upon a hill? Had I found the new candidate of hope, faith and American patriotism – true patriotism?

Sadly, no.

I reminisced of Reagan because I longed for Reagan part II. I long for a return to the days when America really was a bright shining city on a hill. It wasn’t that long ago that most of the world looked upon our “city” with respect and admiration. They flocked here, not to take jobs that Americans decline nor to fly planes into buildings, but to seek a better life; a free life; a respected life. More importantly, everyday Americans felt an overwhelming sense of pride in their country. They too, looked forward to a rewarding life that was better than the generation before them.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost touch with that idea. Those “wind-swept, God-blessed” rocks on which our city was built have begun to crumble and decay. I know, however, that it is not too late. I have my own ideas on how to restore our greatness. On how to get there, a country with this much diversity will never fully agree. On the need to rediscover Ronnie’s vision of that beautiful city shining on a hill, we must all agree and commit ourselves to the effort, before the tough discussions on how to get there, can be had.